If I Die Young
by ectotechgodhead
Summary: Matthew is constantly being bullied and his life doesn't seem to be getting any better... and some times it doesn't seem like it can make it through the day. Fic based around the song If I Die Young by The Band Perry.  Complete?


***Disclaimer crap here***

**))))))**

**If I Die Young**

"So, you wrote a new song…?" Matthew asked as he and his brother, Alfred walked home from school.

"Yeah, it's alright. I probably won't play it publicly till its perfected but I can let you hear it, if you want." Alfred yawned out the last part, "Maybe after a nap, first." He grinned over at his brother.

Matthew grinned, "I'd love to, did you want me to call Arthur and Francis or do you plan to do that yourself?"

Alfred shrugged, "I'll just do it after my nap." Matthew nodded. As they came up to their house, each brother went to their separate ways. Matthew heads to his room and plops down on his bed and lets out a long sigh. He had a long day at school that day; the Ivan guy always gave him a hard time by locking him in the bathroom and touching him or getting shoved roughly into the lockers, hard enough to give him a large bruise somewhere on him.

His right shoulder was just beginning to heal until today when he was shoved into the lockers again, now sporting a bruise on top of a bruise. He slid his shirt sleeve down and looked at the purple and blue bruise. He hissed when he tried to raise his arm too much. He pushed his sleeve back on top of his shoulder and dropped his arm. Still lying down on his bed, he looked up at the ceiling and stared, letting his thoughts run free.

Also the day before this guy with white hair and red eyes, named Gilbert Beilschmidt, came up to him and confessed his love. "I'll love you forever." Matthew almost laughed, love? Forever? There was no such thing. Even his parents didn't love each other; they were together cause of him and his brother. He rolled onto his left side and stared at the poster of Bon Jovi on the wall. He didn't know if he even swung that way, he sometimes wondered but never put too much thought into his sexuality.

Matthew's phone vibrated and he pulled it out of his pocket; it was a text, from Gilbert. He clicked on open

_Gilbert: Hey! What's up? _

Matthew sighed and threw the phone across the room; it bounced on the carpeted floor with a soft thud before landing on a shirt that he had thrown to the ground. There was no use in getting into love or even bothering to lead someone on, it was all pointless and Gilbert would eventually leave anyway. He rolled over back onto his back and pulled down his right sleeve, looking at the scars he inflicted on himself from the night before. It hurt like a bitch but it would hurt less in a day or so, and that saddened him, he would have to cut again then. He pushed his sleeve back down and closed his eyes before falling into a deep sleep.

He woke again to his alarm clock ringing into his ear; he groggily hit the off button and looked at realized he'd have to go to school. He groaned and rolled over, hiding under the blankets. It couldn't have been five minutes later and Alfred knocked on the door. When he didn't get an answer he opened the door and then poked Matthew.

"Come, Mattie, up and at 'em." There was a groan from under the blankets and a small shift. "We have school in less than a half hour, Mattie and we have to leave in ten minutes, we have a test today; you have to go." Matthew sat up and let the blankets pool around his waist.

"Yeah, yeah, just get outta my room." Alfred smiled before spinning around and going out the door yelling: 'Ten minutes, Mattie!' Matthew swung his feet over the edge of the bed, feeling his feet hit the plush carpet. He wanted to scream, he had forgotten about the test and he also had to deal with Ivan, all in the same day. He managed to stumble out and to the bathroom. Brushing his hair, teeth, changing his clothes into a long sleeved red and black stripped shirt, jeans and some socks. He staggered down stairs and into the kitchen, grabbing a granola bar that was handed to him by Alfred, slipped on his black and white converse and headed out with his brother.

After school that day, Matthew was invited to his brother's next rehearsal since he slept yesterday but he declined saying he had a bad day and he should get study for the test he had the next day. Alfred pouted but left it alone, and went to practice with his friends. Matthew ran up to his room and shut the door, locking it. He got out some paper, a pen, sat down at his desk and began to write. He had these lyrics in his head all day and was waiting to write them down. He would have at school but he was afraid that Ivan would take it, or someone else would find it.

Once he had the lyrics down he took out his guitar and began to test out the notes. After about five hours straight of practicing and now raw fingers he had just about perfected his song. He got out his tape recorder from his desk stand, sat on his bed with the guitar and pressed the play button on the recorder. He began to sing his lyrics and play, trying to do as little better than he did in practice. After that he stopped it and took the tape out, labeling it. He got out another piece of paper and began to write furiously, tears slipping down his cheeks. Once he finished, he took the tape and paper and put them into hole under the strings in the guitar.

He went over to his nightstand and pulled out a few bottles of pills and dumped them out into his hand, he took his glass of water waiting on the nightstand and quickly swallowed the first bottle, followed by the other. He lay down on his bed and curled up under his blankets. Matthew smiled to himself; he wouldn't have to put up with anything ever again. He closed his eyes and waited.

Alfred found him later that morning, when he went to wake his brother up. Instead of groaning or shifting, he did nothing, didn't move at all. Worried, Alfred shook Matthew harder, yelling his brother's name over and over. Finally he threw the blankets off of Matthew and found the two empty pill bottles and a pale white Matthew. Alfred backed up, tears welling in his eyes, the only thing he could think of is… "Why?" He backed up until he hit the guitar and it fell over, startling Alfred and making him fall over. He stood up and set the guitar up but notices that when he set it up, something made a thunk inside. He peered inside and took out the paper and the tape.

He studies the tap curiously and nervously before shakily opening the letter and reading it over. It floated out of his hands when he realized it was a suicide letter, and he had left his latest work to Alfred. Quickly, Alfred ran over to a tape player and pushed play, listening to his brother, playing the guitar and singing the lyrics he had written. Alfred fell to the ground and cried.

A week later was Matthew's funeral. Everyone from family to teachers, other students and anyone else who knew Matthew was there except Ivan who was on trial for assault and cause of death of a student. Alfred has offered to sing Matthew's latest piece. As the funeral started and before Alfred sang, he looked over at his brother and smiled a bit and whispered, "This is for you, bro." He pulled out Matthew's guitar and began to play and sing,

_"If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down in a, bed of roses. Sink me in the river, at dawn; send me away with the words of a love song."_

Alfred mentally sighed, why didn't Matthew ask for help? Why didn't he come to him? He was supposed to be the hero right? He had been the hero of everyone else, how could he not have seen that his own brother was suffering?

"_Lord, make me a rainbow; I'll shine down on my mother. She'll know I'm safe with you when she stand under my colors, oh Life ain't always what you think it ought to be no, ain't even grey but she buries her baby."_

Which was odd because the day of Matthew's funeral was bright and sunny, it didn't rain, there wasn't even a cloud in the sky. It was like any other typical day. Only except there was a funeral of a boy who died too young and a room full of grieving family and friends. But Matthew was in a better place, he wasn't being picked on, shoved into lockers, forgotten or mistaken for his brother, he was Matthew Williams-Jones. Probably up there, smiling down on them, wishing he could make pancakes to make them all feel better. That was just how Matthew was….Is.

_"The sharp knife, of a short life, well I've had, just enough time."_

If didn't seem like enough to everyone else. Matthew was just too young.

_"If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down in a, bed of roses, sink me in the river, at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song. The sharp knife, of a short life, well, I've had, just enough time. _

_And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom, I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger, I've never know the lovin of a man, but it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand…there's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever…who would have though the love would be served by…"_

A loud choked sob was heard in the room and everyone knew exactly who it was. Alfred had to quickly clear his throat to stop himself from crying as he continued on.

_"A sharp knife, of a short life, well, I've had just enough time So put on your best boys, what I never did is done. A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar, they are worth so much more, after I'm a goner. And then maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singing, its funny when you're dead how people start listening."_

It was true. Many people in the room would give a million dollars just to have one thought of Matthew's. What everyone really regretted was not seeing the obvious hits and clue he was giving out, but no one noticed or bothered to look into it. It was sad to know that this was the only way Matthew thought he could get through to people to tell how much pain he was in.

"If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down in a, bed of roses, sink me in the river, at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song. The sharp knife, of a short life, well, I've had, just enough time.

The ballad of a dove, go with peace and love.  
>Gather up your tears, keep em in your pocket,<br>save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh!  
>If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down in a, bed of roses,<br>sink me in the river, at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song.  
>The sharp knife, of a short life, well, I've had, just enough time.<p>

So put on your best boys…"

Alfred strummed the last cord and stopped, looking up at the sky, a tear sliding down in cheek and saying his final goodbye. He prayed that Matthew was happier and was always smiling.

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**If I Die Young – The Band Perry  
>When I die, I want this song played at my funeral.<strong>

**Did this seem rushed?**  
><strong>Anyway so I thought about making a few chapters to where it showed Matthew's school life and Ivan, but I got lazy and wasn't sure if it was needed. So if you guys want those chapters, ask and you shall receive ;D no seriously. Just ask. In a…. *drum roll* Review :D I love them :3<strong>


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